Posts: 1,620
Threads: 1,046
Joined: Oct 2018
Just finished buying the family Christmas tree and as the clerk was tying it down he asked me, "So you plan on putting this up yourself then?"
"No you sicko- I was thinking in front of the window in the den."
Posts: 1,620
Threads: 1,046
Joined: Oct 2018
Traditionally, we always have a family Christmas jumper...
...It's always my job to talk him down :/
Posts: 1,620
Threads: 1,046
Joined: Oct 2018
Years later, Kevin McCallister murdered his older brother at a family Christmas party.
It was a total buzzkill.
Posts: 1,620
Threads: 1,046
Joined: Oct 2018
Christmas Cheer
Just texted my Girlfriend to see if she was coming over tonight after her family Christmas celebration.
She texted, "Let me guess, Netflix and chill."
I responded, "No baby, I upgraded to Disney Plus and Thrust"
Posts: 1,620
Threads: 1,046
Joined: Oct 2018
How do you get a nuclear family?
Splitting an atom family.
Posts: 1,620
Threads: 1,046
Joined: Oct 2018
If a family with a mother, father, and child is called a nuclear family...
...why isn't incest called radioactive dating?
Posts: 1,620
Threads: 1,046
Joined: Oct 2018
The theory goes, that surnames often come from the job of your ancestors.
What on earth did "Dickinson" do?!
Posts: 1,620
Threads: 1,046
Joined: Oct 2018
My English friend was shocked to find out that his ancestors came from Transylvania.
Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.
Posts: 1,620
Threads: 1,046
Joined: Oct 2018
I asked the genie to revive one of my oldest ancestors, to see what life was like when they were around.
Let's just say, it was a pretty fishy chat.
Posts: 1,620
Threads: 1,046
Joined: Oct 2018
Two people are discussing their ancestors who lived during world war 2
Girl: my grandparents were in a concentration camp
Boy: so was my grandpa, he died there
Girl: aw that’s so sad
Boy: yeah, poor guy fell out of the guard tower
