Mate, go grab a book called 'walk in the woods' Bill bryson, He attempts it, best line in the book is

'When guys in camouflage pants and hunting hats sat around in the four aces diner talking about fearsome things done out-of-doors, i would no longer have to feel like such a cupcake. I wanted a little of that swagger that comes with being able to gaze at a far horizon through eyes of chipped granite and say with a slow, manly sniff " Yeah, I've shit in the woods